Tuesday, April 6, 2010

FONT YOU Cherry Blossoms!

Oh the cherry blossoms... the cherry blossoms that I was so excited for... the cherry blossoms that I could not wait to see... the damn cherry blossoms have turned me something-like-a synical, tourist hating Washingtonian. 
The people... the people are EVERYWHERE.  On the sidewalks, lined up in fours.  On the metro, taking pictures and spilling koolaid.  Crossing at the wrong time at crosswalks, maps spread open.  I know, I know--- it is "our nations capitol" and someone told me as a resident it is our job to share.  But why, WHY???? I ask must you all come this week.  In crowds.  With your families.  ALL of your family.  Or schools? In cars.  Cars that keep you at a circle for an hour?  WHY?

I have decided that when the Cherry Blossom loving tourists come to town and get their map there should be an addendum to their "Guide to DC" that says:
1. When on sidewalks please file in a single line.  64% of Washingtonians are pedestrians. We are in a hurry. You are on vacation.  We are not.

2. Stay to right when riding escalators.  The left is for the passers.  See last three sentences of tip 1. 

3. Use elevator ettiquette when using metro.  People out.  People in.  Do not let your kids jump around.  Do not bring liquids that they can spill on people on their way to work.  Again, see tip 1.

4. Enjoy the city, and the blossoms and ignore the over worked, hot, cranky Washingtonians like me. But still see tip 1, for best results. 

*FONT you:  Is all caps font in email, a loud voice, the ultimate TYPOGRAPHICAL middle finger. Trade Marked Stacey Price, used by all Epic Media Relations Staff, circa Spring 2010. 

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